UnShaken

His Kingdom not shaken, nor His mercy and love.

Ever His justice shines from above.

Shake the pillars of earth, quake, fire, and flood.
Yet, ever His love written in blood.

His compassion remains when the rocks stay not,
And mercy, His kindness can never rot.

But,

Will there be troubles? Yes many don’t fear.
His love, mercy, grace, never will  veer.

What about me? My vexed soul might ask.

O Have you not heard? 

He never is changed.

A Toddler Teaches Me About God

June 2011, I wrote about a particular baby getting under my skin in a most supernatural and delightful way. The oddness being I was baby averse at the time. Handling infants was just outside of my comfort zone. A read of the previous post would increase your understanding and enjoyment of this one. If you choose not to, no worries. I've found in years of pastoring people that advice is rarely taken. So be it.

Then, Tobias was a 10 week old ill-taken-care-of scrawny infant. Today, Tobias is a thriving and well loved 20 month old boy.  My wife and I, his de facto parents, are still in our  mid-fifties, and the biggest chunk of my time is devoted to his care, maintenance and growth. I remain overjoyed at the prospect of seeing my de facto son grow into a mature, happy and secure adult. Don't get me wrong, it is hard, tiresome and often frustrating but there is an otherworldly joie de vivre or verve (joy of life) that comes from being loved so unconditionally by someone so helpless to do anything in exchange. Pouring my love and care into such a needy creature brings with it a wonderful delight very similar, I imagine, to God's, and not unlike the relationship he is attempting to have with us.

Unfortunately, as we grow older the tragedy of skepticism sets in and losing our innocence we gain a myriad of anxieties, most frightful the fear of rejection. Tobias has no fear of rejection. He knows he is the center of the universe.

I observed a near miracle as Tobias voluntarily shared a toy with another child, a stranger. My heart swelled with pride, the good kind. I'm sure the Father of us all feels much the same way when we leap a hurdle, one most likely placed there by him in the first place.

One example, inherent to toddlers, and Tobias is no different, when he wants something and is thwarted or told no, the command is either ignored or he goes into a flailing fit, behavior sadly similar to the man looking back at me from the mirror. Only I don't normally throw myself on the ground and cry.

God in His unlimited patience reacts much the same as I do to Tobias. He gently talks me down off the ledge or ignores the fit until it stops, and a few minutes later my passions move on to something else.

Oh how I wish I could be more like Tobias in my trust of God. He doesn't doubt my fidelity. He doesn't wake up in the morning worrying, "I hope I have enough milk today." His concerns are playing with his many toy cars and whether he watches Yo Gabba Gabba or Baby Einstein. In short he simply enjoys life and relationships so transparently that he can't conceive of worrying about it.

How much happier would we be if we could learn this from a toddler?

“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." - Jesus Matthew 18:3

Location:Broadway,Sacramento,United States

410 Days Later

Yeah, Yeah, I know it has been 410 days since I lasted posted anything to this blog which, now that I think about it, coincides closely to the day I was diagnosed with cancer. Funny that my writing gene turned off when all that came in. Well I’m back, provoked by my virginal(blogwise) friend who wrote his first piece(blog) and it is very good, a pleasure to read.

Looking back on God’s presence at the time, 

Roll back 400 days or so, and it seems that God was absent but I knew he was there. During the time of Chemotherapy (easy part) and Radiation (hard part) it felt like God stepped around the corner to get a newspaper and just didn't come back until the hard stuff was over. Now I am 35 pounds lighter and carry a bit of lifestyle-changing collateral damage. Lifestyle-changing in that I used to love to eat food, all food and lots of it. Now it’s kind of a pain to eat. I could go into the details but it would likely bore you into never-never land.

“I know there’s a message in there somewhere God,” I thought at the time, but no matter what you might guess, I didn't doubt His care, love or working in my life. I have room in there to allow Him to be God without giving me a fix of the warm fuzzies, intermittent chicken skin, or, as we say in Pentecostal circles, Holy Ghost bumps.

When I first got the diagnosis, Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck with an unknown primary, the first thing I thought was, “I am going to die,” but I didn't go running off like a little girl holding my skirt and screaming, since I really wasn't afraid. I thought at the time that I knew for sure, THIS-WAS-IT, lights out, time to go. When I got over that, I had learned

LESSON ONE- I should want to live.

I knew that I knew God was going to change me and He used His PRESENT ABSENCE to do that.  Today I am at a better place, with the God who created the universe, than I ever was. Explanations may or may not come later.

LESSON TWO-

Whatever it takes to bring us closer, it’s worth it. Unfortunately for us all, it seems we must learn this one over and over.

So, for now I’M BACK(on the blog) as Aerosmith sang so well-

I'm back.

I'm back in the saddle again.

I'm back.

For all you country fans(that never heard of Aerosmith), sit down and click here. For all of the holier-than-thou bunch, there’s a little X in the upper right corner. Click it.

LESSON THREE-

Keep coming back.

I think they say that at AA meetings, followed by “It Works.”

I’m back on the blog, I’ve written some great stories lately, but they just haven’t made the blog. I’m saving them to trade for rejection letters from publishers.

Approximately 35,424,000 seconds or 590,400 minutes or 9840 hours later.