The Splinter In My Mind

This blog originally aired here 9/6/10.

As I reread it I thought of all the life changing things that have gone on since then.

Could it have been the result of pursuing the SPLINTER?

I remember the day, if not the date, I prayed something like; I might not completely understand it(Holiness) Lord, but I want to, if you said to be it, that means we can. And no matter what it takes I want to be what you want me to be.

Well....

After 9/6/10;

March 2011 my wife and I went on a dream trip to New York City to see The Allman Bros Band at Beacon Street theater(my dream not hers).

A grandson, Tobias, was born April 1, 2011 and we began to raise him full time in June of that year.

That same month, I moved on from pastoring, after 11 years, to find what God wanted for/from my life.

Four months later I was diagnosed with Head and Neck Cancer, and went through Chemo and Radiation treatments, losing 40# in the process and eating through a tube in my stomach while curled up semi-permanently on the couch watching endless episodes of you-name-it on History Channel.

My writing gene shut off with the diagnosis, I haven't a clue why, but I'm grateful it returned with my health.

The SPLINTER IN MY MIND however. did not shut off.

Jesus told us to be perfect just as our Father in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:48

Peter quoted the Old Testament verse “Be Holy for I Am Holy” 1 Peter 1:15-16

The word holy is printed on the front of your bible. Did you ever wonder how a book could be holy, no matter whose book it was? Maybe it was placed there by King James to scare the hell out of the huddled masses.

Anyway, this word Holy just wouldn’t leave me alone. Like Morpheus told Neo about the Matrix,

“What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. 

You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. 

You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.“

I love God with “all” of my heart. In fact, I have devoted my life to serving Him. I pastor(ed) a somewhat odd collection of saints, we are small, but very cool. I live my life to see people come to know this God who has so freely, extravagantly and sacrificially loved me. I really have no other goals in life but to see the kingdom of God expanded and sinners rescued, at the same time like most of you, I also must struggle to get through this world and make the ends meet somehow. God is a tremendous provider, but that does not exempt me from the struggle and the trial. To carry on this earthly struggle without it overcoming the heavenly struggle is a huge, if not immense challenge that has sidelined more than one saint. As I said, this word and thought from God just won't leave me alone.

“HOLY”

For me it’s one of those things of God that church just can’t satisfy. At church you can learn about it, hear great sermons about it, respond to altar calls in tears, but it seems to end there. Church never can satisfy the itch of what God is really leading us to (Remember the splinter in the mind). This must be worked out between me and God alone in the darkness of a great foggy unknown.

Many people start down that road with God but very few continue to find out what is past that cloud a hundred yards down. 

     God and church become some kind of panacea to cover the burning need for God without really getting Him. Church, then becomes some kind of anesthetic for the pain caused by that splinter in our mind that keeps beckoning us down the rocky path that we can only see a few yards and a few moments ahead.

Unfortunately, most choose the safe path, the one with all the road signs marked off, that is well maintained, nice bright street lights to mark the way with Burma shave signs along the way that promise us promotion, success, health and wealth.

     I have decided that I will take the unknown rocky road (not the ice cream). I believe God is in the cloud beckoning us to plunge into Him. He displays his power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath his feet. Nahum 1:3 (NLT)

Hijacked!

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man

The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

I can see all the heads nodding, and even hear a few hearts thumping at these beautiful words found in the bible. Heck I'm standing on my seat jumping up and down. 

     We've all heard them, said them, or dreamed of them when we were going through a particular hard time. 

Perhaps, you merely heard the words come across a pulpit as the preacher brought you to a place of faith. But, if you only focused on these words, which most of us do, you would miss the beauty and also difficulty of what is really going on.

I say that yours, mine,and our natural reason and fleshly desires have hijacked the true purpose of The Apostle Paul's words as he penned them.

Now if you only want to be tickled by scripture rather than filled with truth, STOP READING NOW, tuck the verse away like a feather and bring it out only when you FEEL bad and/or are plagued by troubles. 

SO SINCE YOUR STILL HERE?

Indulge yourself in a little tickle then put the feather away, because I want you to see what is really going on(and it's much better than a feather).

Step back a little and see how verse 9 starts;

But as it is written:

Meaning, he quoted it from the existing Hebrew scripture at the time.

Isaiah 64:4 (I used KJV  here since it treated this best)

For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear,

neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee,

what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.

Even there our mind (if you're like me) clips the verse and forgets 'that waiteth for him.'

Wait, as it is used here is not the same as sitting around hoping this happens.

Wait was used in 1611 for the Hebrew word חכה which sounds a lot like clearing your throat.

חכה Has within its meaning, to long for and adhere to.

Which presupposes a person who is longing for God more than just a better day.

Paul goes on in First Corinthians 2:10

But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.

Oh that big BUT gets in the way of what our hijacking flesh wants it to be doesn't it?

Now, it becomes more than a healing, more than more money, more than forcing the world to go along with our short-sighted plans.

Now, it's talking about our insides, not the parts the surgeon sees, but the unseen heart where God wants to live.

The hijacker doesn't want our plane to go there, because then he would be done for.

     Not convinced yet? Lets go to 1 Corinthians 2:4-8 which qualifies the quote.

I'm paraphrasing;

Verse 4 Paul says he doesn't want you to hear his words, but the Spirit behind the words.

Verse 5 so that your faith is not in how much you or your pastor know, but in the 'power of God'.

And then he goes on to eloquently state that truth/wisdom is more caught than taught.

'But as it is written:' from verse 9 is more well stated in the New Living Translation-

'That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,'

which now holds us to a read of the surrounding verses.

He doesn't leave us hanging at, But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.

Paul continues to explain that he doesn't mean money, power and prestige, but the things of the heart.

The one trying to hijack the truth for its own purpose is not the Devil, but our own selfish desires.

If we follow them we will miss out on things the,

Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man (more than you can imagine)

The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

We have a hijacker aboard our lives who masquerades as a passenger and even the pilot at times.

Romans 7:23

but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight(of spiritual things and God's Law which is Spirit). Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

We've been HIJACKED!

Galatians 5:17-18 The Message

For there is a root of sinful self–interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law–dominated existence?

Lets kick the hijacker out of the plane without a parachute, so he cannot live to ride another day.

Choose to live and seek the truth of God revealed to us by His Spirit dwelling within us.

Jesus said, The Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. -John 14:26