The Quest (for the Holy) God Help Us

I am on a quest to know the High and Lofty One ^{Isaiah 57:15} and if he wants me to be Holy, I want to be Holy. I really don’t think he meant for me to never listen to the Allman Brothers Band again, but if He did, I would do it. A.W. Tozer prayed “God help us to make at once such amendment of life as is necessary before we can experience the true meaning of the words “In Thy presence is fullness of joy.”” Rudolph Otto expressed the idea that all persons sense God and he gave what they were sensing the term numinous. “Numinous is a mystery (Latin: mysterium) that is both terrifying (tremendum) and fascinating (fascinans) at the same time.” If you don’t find God or the idea of God at least somewhat fascinating and minimally terrifying, you have never thought deeply about WHO HE might be.

            I have sought God for more than just a definition of holy, and as I have, I find that a new quality comes into my life. Jesus did say “to him who knocks it will be opened “^{Matthew  7:8 (NKJV)}

I have knocked on the door of heaven, and sometimes just stood outside screaming, up at seemingly impenetrable walls, my desire to be as holy as a human being possibly could. I have not asked Him to explain how or why, but I have become willing. If you read my first couple of blog posts you will get a clearer idea of what I mean. Meanwhile, back at the ranch,  I am still on the path and still learning, I would not dare utter the words, “I am Holy” for the only One that can say “I am Holy”, without getting in trouble,  is the One who can say “I AM” and nothing else need be said after that. One of those things I have learned is that holiness seems to be where God intersects with us at the deepest level. Holiness is not attained by swearing you will never do a wrong thing again, holiness is somewhere right underneath the motive for our motives. Holiness is what God Is and Does and we are made in His image.

Holiness is not something to just pass off as incomprehensible and unattainable, neither is it something so distasteful that it should be spit out. Holy is only distasteful and horrifying to our natural selves, ah ha!, this is why it is a spiritual thing more than a rationally realized principle.

            The path to the holy is not clear and marked out, and just up ahead it always seems to turn to the right but never goes full circle. Right at the turn is a low lying cloud just thick enough to obscure what lies ahead. I think just as the Cloud led the children of Israel in the day so the cloud of the unknown beckons us into the Holy.

            Just setting out on the quest for the Holy seems odd and out of step. There is lot’s of talk about seeking God and wanting to live for God, but I get the feeling that the idea of living for God just scratches the itch for most of us, and it just settles there like the family dog sitting on the same rug, in the same house, day after day scratching the same itch cause it just feels so good, but never getting down to the cause of the itch in the first place.

            Perhaps we want our pastors to do it for us, vicariously anointing us with it so we won’t have to actually work for it. Perhaps we are hoping for a burning bush in the desert to speak to us, or for “it” to just magically happen to us one day. Somewhere down in our corrupt little souls part of us wants to believe that if we say enough amens and bob our heads up and down on Sunday then the Spirit like a dove will descend on our heads and pronounce us clean and well pleasing. It will be a cold day in, you know where, before that ever happens. You know it and I know it.- Peace

Ruffled Feathers

Be Ye Holy for I AM Holy ^{Leviticus 19:2 Leviticus 11:44-45 Leviticus 20:7 1 Peter 1:15-16}, is indelibly etched in my mind, and it is there in the Old King James Version, not the NLT, NSRV, NIV, nor even the Message, but the KJV. Somehow when I first got saved and decided to be a disciple of Christ, I heard  “Be Ye Holy for I AM Holy”, with a strong emphasis on the YE, not YOU, but YE. I heard it preached and thereby it became permanently and indelibly imprinted on my mind. It must have been that the first time I heard it, it stuck like an arrow in the thick goo of sin that was my old life, rusting away and infecting all the nasty little corners of my heart, soul and spirit. Well, I say, let it fester and putrefy in there with it’s holy corrosion and eat away at my sinful nature. Corrode in the dictionary means to eat away by degrees as if by gnawing;

            I think the more it ruffles our feathers the more those feathers are out of order. If the word “holy” beckons to you, good, if it terrifies you, stop running, fall down and surrender.

Jesus Missing??

Is it the next slick pitch or evangelism method that will lead people to Christ? Is it our beautiful example of what a Christian is like that will cause them to fall down and confess Christ? Will it be our polished service and sermon with ninety-two different programs for every genre of people? Perhaps if we pass out enough flyers the odds will work in our favor. These things are OK, just OK, but that is where it stops for me. I am not satisfied with passing out flyers.

When I go home and lay my head on the pillow, I don’t have a satisfied, well done good and faithful going on in my head and heart. The song that is playing in my heart is, “is that it?” “is that all there is?” There has to be more to it than this. The bible says the gospel is the power of salvation to all who believe and that is pretty simple. Or is it? I think it goes way deeper than that to the seat of power. We know the Holy Spirit is the Power, and He dwells down deep in a place in us that few of us explore. I think that down there is where the answer lies. Alas, too many of us, and I am often one, don’t live deeply enough. We don’t search out the deep things of God. We don’t look for God on the inside of us because we are too busy looking on the outside. We look at the next church service, the next song, the next Christian mega-event with the famous guy and the funky haircut. So let’s give it a name and call it our motive. What if the power of God works through us as we align ourselves internally with Him? If we are in harmony with God, and the motives of our motive are the same as His. What would be stopping His power working through us in a new and dynamic way?


I was going door to door the other day, and as I knocked and as I spoke, I prayed. I wasn’t only praying for the people on the other side of the door, but I was praying for my stinking motives. As I dug down deep and let God search my heart I realized that my motives didn’t smell to good. Sure, I was doing the work and not many people do, but I was doing it to do it. I didn’t have a burning passion to see these people saved, and If I really looked even farther down in my soul I could see that I was going through the motions of the great commission without it being a part of my being. Jesus said to do it, so I am doing it, plain and simple. I want more than that, and if Jesus lives in me, I believe that I can get to a point and ever beyond where the whole soul and fiber of my being is broken for Him and the lost, the same place where God is, and He is not willing that any should perish ^{2 Peter 3:9}I think this is what Holy is and does.

I am on a quest for that kind of holiness. I will not settle for busy, I want the hidden worshipping life that drives us to unreservedly work for Him, and fills our everyday going about our business work with His presence, power and purpose. To get anywhere near this will take some deep and courageous spiritual surgery. The journey will be tough, narrow and more difficult Matthew 7:13 than any other choice we could make it. It will cost us everything we are and have. But, if God Is, and He Is, we must see the urgency of this most critical need to make every adjustment to our lives that is necessary to experience the true meaning of holiness, and see His power truly manifest in our lives. It is worth it, it is only our reasonable service Romans 12:1. Whatever adjustments are necessary Lord, this is my desire. If we look for God on the inside of us we just may see Him do some mighty things on the outside of us.

To The Unknown God

In the church world or realm there is a lot of talk about prayer, prayers and prayerlessness. There are days of prayer that turn into protests, prayer breakfasts attended by luminaries and the media. There are president’s that pray and people of every faith walk that pray. I am a person that prays, I believe in it, it is a discipline of mine, but the bible talks about earth shaking, fire bringing down, God connected prayer.
I want that kind of prayer, not just the high volume, shout at God and tell Him how to run the universe kind of prayer. Nor, do I want the kind of fluffy, floppy and mushy kind of prayer that seems to go to a god that sits on a cloud stroking his beard looking for the best orators out of the people on this planet, so He can grant their request like some kind of cosmic butler. I want prayer that connects to real and living Almighty God and knows it connected. I don’t want the “I did my duty” kind of prayer, so God can check my name off on some heavenly list, like a grade school teacher checking my homework.
I believe it takes an adjustment in my life, a rearranging of the furniture if you would, to enable a deeper relationship leading to deeper prayer. I think it starts with desire, past the “it would be nice” kind of desire, and into the desire that is willing to go to any lengths to get it. Remember the desire (holy or otherwise) that you had for your first girlfriend, boyfriend or car, you would go to any lengths, spend all your time, go into debt up to your eyeballs, or as Percy Sledge said, “stand out in the rain” to get it or maintain it. I will be the first to admit, that I don’t always feel like that towards the things of God or prayer, and that admission disturbs me. It disturbs me when I read the passion of the writers of the Law, Prophets and the Gospels, and then don’t experience that or even see examples of that to follow in our day and age. I believe that if we were determined not merely in actions but in motives. Oswald Chambers mentioned “ The motive of my motives, the spring of my dreams, must be so right that right deeds will follow naturally.”

This is a “splinter in my mind” driving me on. Call me crazy, but I believe that this kind of transformation, prayer and holiness is possible. Not only possible but attainable, why would the Prophets, Jesus and the Gospel writers pen that if it were not within our reach? They would be madmen, hucksters and, at the very least, hypocrites of the highest order, if we could not actually pray without ceasing, be holy in all our thoughts, intents and motives and have a depth of relationship with God that would take us outside the merely human realm.

Why is it something like holiness and prayer are so shortchanged that all they get is our spare change attention?

No matter how many books are written I do not believe there will ever be three sure steps to the prayer that shakes the earth, or a holiness for spiritual idiots manual. It is something we must search and grope for on a gut level, not knowing how or where. As Paul the apostle spoke so brilliantly to the Athenians on Mars Hill of the altar to the “To an unknown God”. “His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps “feel their way toward Him” and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. Acts 17:27 (NLT)

The Splinter in my Mind

This bog was originally aired here 9/6/10. 

As I reread it I thought of all the life changing things that have gone on since then.

Could it be the result of pursuing the SPLINTER?

After 9/6/10;

March 2011 my wife and I went on a dream trip to New York City to see The Allman Bros Band at Beacon Street theater(my dream not hers).

A grandson, Tobias, was born April 1, 2011 and we began to raise him full time in June of that year.

The same month, I moved on from pastoring, after 11 years, to find what God wanted for/from my life.

Four months later I was diagnosed with Head and Neck Cancer, and went through Chemo and Radiation treatments, losing 40# in the process and eating through a tube in my stomach while curled up semi-permanently on the couch watching endless episodes of you-name-it on History Channel.

My writing gene shut off with the diagnosis, I haven't a clue why, but I'm grateful it returned with my health.

The SPLINTER IN MY MIND did not, shut off.

Jesus told us to be perfect just as our Father in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:48
Peter quoted the Old Testament verse “Be Holy for I Am Holy” 1 Peter 1:15-16

The word holy is printed on the front of your bible. Did you ever wonder how a book could be holy, no matter whose book it was? Maybe it was placed there by King James to scare the hell out of the huddled masses.

Anyway, this word Holy just wouldn’t leave me alone. Like Morpheus told Neo about the Matrix,

“What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.“

I love God with “all” of my heart. In fact, I have devoted my life to serving Him. I pastor(ed) a somewhat odd collection of saints, we are small, but very cool. I live my life to see people come to know this God who has so freely, extravagantly and sacrificially loved me. I really have no other goals in life but to see the kingdom of God expanded and sinners rescued, at the same time like most of you, I also must struggle to get through this world and make the ends meet somehow. God is a tremendous provider, but that does not exempt me from the struggle and the trial. To carry on this earthly struggle without it overcoming the heavenly struggle is a huge, if not immense challenge that has sidelined more than one saint. As I said, this word and thought from God just won't leave me alone.

“HOLY”

For me it’s one of those things of God that church just can’t satisfy. At church you can learn about it, hear great sermons about it, respond to altar calls in tears, but it seems to end there. Church never can satisfy the itch of what God is really leading us to (Remember the splinter in the mind). This must be worked out between me and God alone in the darkness of a great foggy unknown. 

Many people start down that road with God but very few continue to find out what is past that cloud a hundred yards down. God and church become some kind of panacea to cover the burning need for God without really getting Him. Church, then becomes some kind of anesthetic for the pain caused by that splinter in our mind that keeps beckoning us down the rocky path that we can only see a few yards and a few moments ahead. 

Unfortunately, most choose the safe path, the one with all the road signs marked off, that is well maintained, nice bright street lights to mark the way with Burma shave signs along the way that promise us promotion, success, health and wealth.

     I have decided that I will take the unknown rocky road (not the ice cream). I believe God is in the cloud beckoning us to plunge into Him. He displays his power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath his feet. Nahum 1:3 (NLT)

The God I know that saved my life and rescued me from sin......

The God I know that saved my life and rescued me from sin, the God who loved me enough to kill His very own Son for me, could He possibly want to take from me all those attitudes, actions and ideas that just weren’t “that evil” or “that bad? After all, I’m a pretty good guy. I don’t do drugs or drink anymore, heck, I don’t even smoke cigarettes, chew or cuss. I pay my tithe, I go to church twice a week and I really love God’s word. To the best of my ability (most of the time) I try to live according to God’s revealed truth, not just in an outward show, but with an inward grace and faith, this is my desire.


Nevertheless, this scripture “Be Holy for I Am Holy” 1 Peter 1:15-16 circles my head and my heart like a pack of vultures, ever patient, just waiting for me to drop dead of exhaustion and give up. I wanted to believe that this scripture was one of those largely overstated, exaggerated and impossible directives placed there by the rabbinical writers to make a point; and just between you and me, I wanted to simply leave it that way and never have to really take it out and look at it. You know, like the kinds of things you hope to just “get away with”. For instance, not watering the lawn, fixing the fence, or taking out the garbage. Seriously hoping if you ignore it long enough, maybe your wife will do it and you won’t have to deal with it.

The thought of upping the ante on holiness is something like knowing you should start exercising and lose that extra ten or fifty pounds, you know it’s there, you know it needs to be done, but after all, it’s really not that bad. Is it? You know what I mean, those things that constantly circle around in your head needing to be done, but you know it can wait another week, another month, or even another year.

I believe God is Holy, He is the High and Lofty one that inhabits eternity Isaiah 57:15. But somehow I just couldn’t see Him taking the time to dig into every minute detail of my life and either being pleased or displeased. I thought perhaps there was this wide gray area that I could just dabble in a little bit, just as long as I didn’t live there. After all, we are saved by grace. Right?

Before you write me off as a heretic, or worse yet, a lost little boy, give me a listen you might find it worthwhile. You also might find that just a few layers down I am not much different than you.

“Be Holy for I Am Holy” so said God to Moses and told him to tell the congregation of the children of Israel Leviticus 19:2 Leviticus 11:44-45 Leviticus 20:7

Be Ye Holy for I Am Holy

Leviticus 11:44-45, 19:2, 1 Peter 1:15-16
When you read these verses, does the blood run down your spine or does your mind go numb? Do images of stuffy people in even stuffier dress, God bless them, fill your head? Does the word "holy" fill your heart with dread and bring you thoughts of never having an ounce of fun ever again?

I must admit that every time I heard this verse something switched to off or cruise control in my soul or my spirit I am not really sure which one. I said amen with everyone else in the congregation, my head bobbed up and down in agreement with the pastor as he preached it “hard”. I have even quoted it in some sermons I have preached, but I just couldn’t get my head or heart all the way around the idea of HOLY.
I want to try to not merely understand it, but be it. If God is God and He is, and he says to be Holy, what is stopping me? I have this urge inside of me driving me forward, at any cost, to be what God intended me to be. Completely whole, and completely holy.